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 This booklet is for any man who suffers from depression, and also for his family and friends. Men are just as depressed as women, but they are less likely to seek help.

This booklet provides some basic facts about depression, how it affects men in particular, and how to get help.

depression

 

What is the importance of depression?

 

Depression leads to great suffering and is one of the main reasons people miss work. Many people who committed suicide were depressed, so depression can be fatal.

In any case, depression is an easy disease to treat, but treatment as soon as possible is preferred.

 

What is the difference between feeling miserable and depressed?

Every person can go through a certain period of his life in which he feels depressed and discouraged.

There may be a good reason for this feeling, but it doesn't control his life and it doesn't last long.

If the depression continues for a long time and becomes very severe, he may find himself trapped and unable to come out of this depression. This is what doctors call a depressive illness.

Some people with manic-depressive disorder (also called bipolar disorder) go through periods of major depression and other periods of euphoria and hyperactivity.

The latter can also be harmful, such as periods of depression (see our post on bipolar disorder).

 

what are the signs and symptoms?

If you suffer from depression, you will notice the following:

 

Mentally you:

You feel unhappy, miserable, and depressed. This sensation does not go away and can be worse at certain times of the day, which is usually the morning period.

• You don't enjoy things anymore.
• Does not improve focus.
• You feel guilty about things that are not relevant to you.
• become pessimistic.
• You begin to feel desperate and may think about suicide.

physically you:

• I can't sleep and wake up early in the morning and - or all night.
• Losing interest in sex.
• You can not eat.
• lose weight.

Other people may notice it:

1. Your lack of performance at work.
2. He seems unusually calm and unable to talk about some things.
3. Worrying more than usual.
4. Grumpy more than usual.
5. Complain of vague physical problems.
6. You don't take good care of yourself, you may not mind shaving, washing your hair, or taking care of your clothes.

How is depression different in men?

There is no evidence that there is a completely separate pattern of depression in men, but there is evidence that some symptoms of depression are more common in men than women. These symptoms include:

1. Quick
2. sudden anger
3. Too much lack of control
4. increase risk
5. violence
6. As is well known, men are also more likely to commit suicide.

asking for help:

Men suffer from depression as often as women, but they are less likely to seek help.

Most men are not content to accept that they feel weak or need help.

They feel that they must be self-reliant and that it is weak to depend on others, even for a short time, so they are less likely to discuss their feelings with their friends, loved ones, or even their doctor.

This may explain why they are not getting the help they need.

This traditional vision of how men should be, always strict and self-sufficient, is also present in some women.

Some men fear that if he tells them about his feelings of depression, their wives will leave them, even specialists may share this opinion and not discover depression in men as they should.

 

How do men deal with depression?

Instead of talking about their feelings, men may turn to alcohol and drugs to make themselves feel better, but this usually makes things worse, especially in the long run.

This will affect work and alcohol often leads to irresponsible, unsatisfying, and dangerous behavior. Men may focus more on their work than on their relationship and home life, and this can lead to fights with their wife or partner. All of these things make depression more likely.

 

family relationships:

Research has shown that marital disorder is the most common problem associated with depression in men.

Men cannot overcome conflicting opinions the way women do.

Fighting makes men physically uncomfortable, so they try to avoid fights or difficult arguments.

The wife tries to talk about the problem at a time when the man is doing his best to avoid it, so the wife feels he is ignoring her, so she tries to talk about what bothers the man the most, so which retracts more.

and this makes the wife feel that she is ignoring her more: this vicious cycle can destroy the marriage for life.

Separation and divorce:

Traditionally, men see themselves as the controllers of family life, but separation and divorce proceedings are often initiated by women. Divorced men are more likely to commit suicide, perhaps because depression is more common and severe in this group.

This is probably since in addition to losing the most important social relationship:

-They often lose contact with their children.

-Maybe they should move to a different place.

Wen is often broke

These are themselves events that cause psychological distress, in addition to the distress caused by separation, and can lead to depression.

Gender:

When men are depressed, they feel less attractive and less attractive sexually. Many of them lose their sexual desire completely. However, much recent research suggests that despite this, men have sex as usual, but are not satisfied as usual.

Some depressed men have an increased libido and desire for sex, perhaps as an attempt to feel better. Another problem is that some antidepressants can reduce sexual desire in a small number of men. But the good news is that when depression improves, so do sexual desire, performance, and satisfaction.

It is worth remembering that it can happen the other way around, impotence, difficulty getting and maintaining an erection, can lead to depression. Again, this is a problem that generally has an effective solution.

 

Pregnancy and birth:

We have known for many years that some mothers can feel very depressed during the postpartum period.

But recently we realized that more than one in ten men also suffers from psychological problems during this period.

This shouldn't come as a surprise because we know that big events in people's lives, even good ones, like moving to another house, get you down.

This special event changes your life more than anything else. Suddenly he will have to spend more time caring for his wife and possibly other children and this can make him very tired.

On a personal level, new mothers may lose interest in sex for several months and fatigue is the main reason, but you may take it personally and feel rejected.

You may have to adjust, for the first time, to take second place concerning your wife's emotions.

New parents are more likely to develop depression if their wives are also affected, or if they are not compatible with each other, or if they are unemployed.

The importance of this is not only from the father's point of view because it will affect the mother and can affect the way the child grows and develops in the first few months.

 

Unemployment and retirement

When leaving work for any reason that may cause psychological distress, recent research has shown that one in seven unemployed men will develop depression within the next six months.

Unemployment is the most likely to push a man into a state of severe depression after difficulties in a marital relationship. Work is often the main source of a man's sense of worth and self-worth.

He may lose signs of his success, such as losing a company car, or he may have to adjust to being at home or babysitting while his wife becomes the breadwinner.

Being in a position of control can lead to a future where you have little, especially if it takes a long time to find another job.

If you are shy, do not have intimate social relationships, or cannot find another job, you are more likely to develop depression.

Even leaving work at the scheduled time can be difficult for some men, especially if the wife continues to work, and may have difficulty coping with the loss of daily routine and loss of contact with her colleagues.

Gay men and depression:

In general, gay men don't suffer from depression any more than straight men, but it appears that gay teens and young adults are more likely to suffer from depression, perhaps due to the psychological distress associated with showing it.

suicide:

Men are three times more likely to commit suicide than men female.

Depression is more common in men separated from their wives, widows, or divorced, and it increases if the man drinks a lot of alcohol.

In recent years, men have become more likely to commit suicide, especially those who are between 16 and 24 years old, and also those who are between 39 and 54 years old, and we do not know why until now.

We know that about half of those who committed suicide had visited their GP in the previous four weeks, and this does not necessarily mean that they were going to talk about their psychological state.

However, the proportion of men who visited a family doctor in the year before their suicide is lower than that of women.

We also know that 2 out of 3 suicides have told their friends or family.

Simply asking the person if he is feeling suicidal does not necessarily lead to this idea being put into his head, and this does not increase the possibility that the person will commit suicide.

Even if a person is not very good at talking about their feelings, it is important to ask if we have any questions about these thoughts and to take them seriously.

There is nothing more demoralizing to a man who feels suicidal than feeling that others do not take him seriously, because it probably took him so long to have the courage to tell someone.

If he feels bad and has suicidal thoughts, he may feel relieved talking about it.

 

violence:

Some research has shown that men who commit violent crimes are more likely to develop depression than men who do not. But we don't know if depression makes violence more likely or if this is how they live their lives.

 

Helping men:

Many men find it difficult to seek help when they are depressed; they may feel weak or unmanly. It may be easier for men to seek help if the people providing the help consider their specific needs.

Depressed men are more likely to talk about the physical symptoms of depression than about the emotional and psychological symptoms.

This may be one of the reasons that some doctors sometimes do not diagnose depression. If you feel miserable, don't hesitate to tell your doctor.

It can be helpful to talk about depression as a result of chemical changes in the brain and/or the inevitable cost of living in a difficult and demanding world.

Depression is not related to weakness or poor manhood, and there is the possibility of getting help. Talking about it and taking medicine are two important ways to help you feel better.

If the depressed man is married or in a stable relationship, whether homosexual or heterosexual, the partner should be informed so that he can understand what is happening and this can reduce the likelihood that depression will interfere with their relationship.

Some men are not comfortable talking about themselves and may be reluctant to receive psychotherapy, which is an effective way to alleviate depression and improve the condition of many men.

help himself:

Don't keep it to yourself: If you've had a disturbing event in your life, try telling someone how you feel about it.

 

Stay Active - Get out of the house and get some exercise, even if you're just walking, this will help you stay fit and improve your sleep. This can also help you not obsess over painful feelings or thoughts.

 

Eat Right - You may not feel very hungry, but you should eat a well-balanced diet with lots of vegetables and fruits. It is easy to lose weight and below on vitamins when you are depressed.

 

Avoid alcohol and drugs: Alcohol may make you feel better in the first few hours, but it will make you feel more depressed in the long run. The same is said of drugs, especially amphetamines, cocaine, and MDMA.

 

Don't be upset if you can't sleep; do something relaxing that you enjoy, like listening to the radio or watching television. Use relaxation techniques and if you feel constantly stressed try yoga, massage, aromatherapy, etc.

 

Do something you enjoy: Set a regular time each week to do something you enjoy, such as exercising, reading, or taking up a hobby.

 

Review your lifestyle: Many people with depression are perfectionists and put too much pressure on themselves. You may need to set more realistic goals to reduce the burden on yourself.

 

Take a vacation - It may be easier said than done, but it can help a lot to get away from your normal routine for a few days, and sometimes a few hours can help.

Remember that depression can help in the long run: some people come out of depression stronger and better than before, you can see things and social relationships more clearly, and you may have the strength and wisdom to make important decisions and changes. that I had previously avoided.

 

For more help:

The best place to start is with your doctor, who can discuss the options with you.

Many men are indeed concerned that the information they have with their doctor may request that it be provided in medical reports and may therefore harm their chances of working, but what is important to remember is that in the UK it is illegal for a person.

employer to fire you or not hire you to work just because you have a certain disorder.

The only reason for taking such action is that your medical condition (whatever it may be) will interfere with your ability to perform your job.
Depression can be the result of an organic illness, so you must undergo a full clinical examination.

If you are taking medications to treat organic disease, your doctor should know because there is the possibility of drug interactions.

If you are concerned about keeping the information confidential, you should discuss it with your doctor.

If you feel like you can't talk to someone you know about depression, try calling the Samaritan Helpline. This will help you discuss things in a way that no one knows about you.

Depression can be like any other illness, like a chest infection or a broken leg, so you shouldn't be ashamed of it. The important thing to remember is to ask for help when you need it.

Remember: depression is a common and treatable illness, and you have the right to get help when you need it.